The Blame-game Syndrome

A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor – Anonymous

Tragedies happen in everyone’s life. Ups and downs are norms of human life. While one issue ends, another one begins. In hindsight, we can realize some troubles happen for our good. Sometimes, we meet with stalemates in our life just to transform ourselves and our lifestyle. In fact, as far as our life is concerned, what doesn’t kills us makes us stronger.

My life also has its own ups and downs. Death of dearest ones, business as well as relationship failures and struggles with addictions. In reality, I can blame only myself for the mishaps in my life.

One year ago, I learnt that one of my neighbors consulted with a ‘Vastu’ expert and made a minor change in the structure of their house which costed them dearly.

Vastu shastra (vāstu śāstra) is a traditional Hindu system of architecture, similar to Feng shui in China. I asked them why they did that. They told that the minor change in the structure of their house based on ‘Vastu’ is done as a remedy for the financial crisis they face at that time.

After few months after their Vastu consultation and subsequent minor structural change of house, they informed me, while we are having a casual chat, that they are experiencing an inflow of abundant money which put an end to the financial crisis they once faced. I was happy to hear that not because of the power of ‘Vastu’ on their finances but because my neighbor’s financial suffering has ended.

But, recently, during a casual talk with those neighbors, they told that they are experiencing financial crunch. I asked them what happened to the ‘Vastu’ remedy they have done last year. They replied that the effect of the ‘Vastu’ lasted only for few months. I still don’t get the relationship between the structure of their house and their bank account balance.

On 24th February 2018, I met with a road accident and had to undergo a surgery on my left forearm. My aunt who visited me in hospital told that god is very kind that he didn’t let me die in that accident and also kept me safe with minor injuries.

I asked her why we should put god and evangelism into this picture. When you drink and drive, you are prone to meet with an accident. I escaped from death because I was lucky. Nothing else. Only one to blame is me and only thing to thank is my luck. To me, as an atheist, god, his love, fate are nothing other than human imagination.

Last week, I met a friend of my dad. When he saw the scar from surgery on my left hand, he asked me what happened to my hand. I told him I met with an accident and undergone a surgery.

He retorted that it is high time I should sell my house, in which my mom and I live. I asked why I should sell my house. He told me that I lost my dad, brother and met with a terrible accident recently while I’m living in this house of mine. He is of the opinion that my house is no good for me.

My dad was alcoholic, he died from alcoholism related disease. My brother died in a road accident. Is the house I’m living in, is the culprit for all these mishaps? I don’t think so. No wonder, the person, who is my dad’s friend, advised me to sell my house, is a real estate agent.

One of my recently married friend, complained to me that none of his childhood friends except me had attended his wedding.

I have attended most of my childhood friends’ marriages. The reasons behind that are firstly, I love my friends and secondly, I have settled in my home town where most of my friends get married. It is difficult for friends who have settled abroad and in other states to attend marriages and other functions.

When he complained about the absence of his childhood friends at his marriage, I asked him, how many childhood friends’ marriages did he attended. He answered that he hadn’t attended any.

How can he expect his childhood friends to attend his marriage function since he doesn’t attended any one of his friends’ wedding? Every action has equal and opposite reaction in this world and it is a scientifically proven theory!

I think we, as humans, have inherited this blame-game syndrome from our ancestors. It is so deeply implanted in our mind. When we face with failures, we blame it on others, gods, fate, destiny and even on an innocent cat which crossed our path.

Vastu, Feng-Shui and all other pseudo-scientific endeavors are thriving on our blame-game syndrome.

It is our decisions, life style and number of other factors determine the fate of each undertakings of our life.

In fact, the challenges, problems and troubles are there to make us stronger. So lets embrace them and live a fruitful life.

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